I will be honest and state beforehand that I do not, have not and likely will not ever care for the Long Island Iced Tea. Perhaps it is the inherent frat party connotations, or just residual fears about mixing every single kind of alcohol possible into one glass with caffeine, or the fact that something&dmash;something I have not yet pinpointed—just doesn’t jell for me in this mix.

That said, I gave this a shot both because of its popularity and because my roommate loves them. She puts up with all manner of idiosyncrasies and mediocre drinks, so I thought one of these wasn’t too much to ask.

1/2 oz light rum
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz tequila
1/2 oz triple sec
juice of 1 lime
cola

Squeeze lime juice into a highball glass filled with ice. Add liquor, stir, and top with cola. Serve.

This was slightly better than the drinks I’ve had in the past, but it is still missing that something that makes me say “ah!” when I taste it. Maybe someday I’ll figure it out and get past by prejudice (right after pigs learn to fly), but until then I’m steering clear of it.

Barring special requests, of course.